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Afrikan_N2Wishin
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Name: Ty
State: Georgia
Gender: Male
Interests: Poetry, Drumming, Football, Afrikan People and Afrikan Interests, Politics, Art, Music and Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc.
Expertise: Whatever I put my mind and energy into
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  fall99sigma
Member Since:
6/28/2004
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| It has been about a month since I started working two jobs. It has been taking a toll on my body but I am making the most of it. I never thought I would become a Workaholic. I used to despise people that worked day and night. I am so disconnected from the world and the people I love. Most times I don't even know what day it is. The days just all seem to run together. I average between 16 and 22 hours of work per day which leaves me with anywhere between 2 and 5 hours of sleep each night or should I say morning. I enjoy what I do but this schedule does push me to the limits. The lack of sleep often brings excruciating pain to my body. I occasionally see double and get slightly dizzy but this is all for a cause. I am on a mission! My biggest fear is waking up one morning and finding out that this was all done in vain. I also fear that this is still not enough to get me ahead in life. I don't want to work this hard just to fail. I pray that all of this works in my favor. I am always exhausted but try not to complain. I am actually thankful for both jobs. Most people can't find one these days. I am trying to position my life in the direction of success. I am on the road to financial freedom and I am preparing my house for my future wife and unborn child. I am destined to provide that security that women and children need. My goal is to finally eliminate some past debt and gain a little bit of independence. A lot of people doubt me but I am determined to prove all of them wrong. I am hard working and responsible. I always have been. Even as a child I would wake up bright and early on weekends to rake the yard and tend to my grandmother's garden. Never was I paid for my work. I just enjoyed the work for the sake of working. I've held jobs since I was 15 years old. I worked during college while pledging a fraternity. I am no stranger to hard work despite what a few people may think. When I entered my 20s I took new approach to life. I didn't want to be one of those people consumed by work. I wanted to enjoy life's simple pleasures. I didn't want to be defined by money, material goods, and status. I didn't want to miss precious moments in life because I was always at work. I am in my 30s now and reality gave me a rude awakening. Because I didn't work hard in my 20s I am missing out on life's simple pleasures now. I am missing out on the beauty of marriage. I'm not sure if working like this will get that person or part of my life back but it will set the stage to possibly find simple pleasures with someone or something else. I don't know what the outcome of this crazy schedule will be I am just hoping I end up on top. I praying for good health and my safety. God has a plan for my life and I am trying to see it through. I don't know why my life is taking this route but I am on the road and not getting off. I have become what I used to hate....a WORKAHOLIC!
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| I guess discovering who I am, transforming my work ethic, removing selfishness from my character, totally being led by God, house cleaning, and being spontaneous came just a little too late. Damn...that is the story of my life. Always a day late and a dollar short. Maybe one day I will get it right.
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| I am on a serious grind right now. I am working two jobs which are both demanding and require long hours and a whole lot of attention to detail. By day I am assisting in a 3 year old class at a local Early Childhood Learning Center. By night I am still working for the police department. I enjoy both jobs, one more than the other. My average day consists of working at the school from 12pm-6pm, the police department from 7pm-5am, and finally sleep from 5:30am-10:30am (if I'm lucky). I come home most mornings barely able to keep my eyes open but I am driven by a different determination. That determination fuels me daily with abundant energy. Nothing can deter my drive now. I am a man on a mission and I won't stop until that mission is accomplished. I am on the road to financial freedom and well as being able to use my resources to assist others. I always fix what I break. I am also preparing my finances for my next marriage and eventually fatherhood. I realize the importance of financial freedom. I also know the importance of security in a woman's life. I want my future mate to feel secure with me. I want my future children to be well taken care of. I don't want to wake up anymore wondering how my bills will get paid. I am hoping that this Teacher's Assistant position will land me a job as a Lead Teacher within a year or two. I am definitely going to do my best to impress the powers that be in my school district. I want to get to a point where I don't have to grind as hard. I want to travel and do humanitarian work around the world. I want my work to have meaning and be self satisfying. I have been renewed with an incredible energy. No matter how many days and hours I work this energy and drive will keep me going. I am grindin for a purpose!
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| A few hours after I posted the Gospel According to Maxwell my spirit began to feel convicted. I wanted so badly to live by the Gospel According to Maxwell, album 5: song 3 but God had other plans. I wanted so badly to let go of the promise and let those pretty little wings fly. I thought I had a different level of understanding about everything going on. God keeps poking at me with a symbolic stick and not letting up until I submit. So I will submit. With my head looking to the heavens and my hands held high I totally submit to the will of God. As painful and disappointing as this all feels...I just have to submit. Why doesn't obedience feel good? I thought doing the right thing was supposed to feel right. The right thing is never supposed to be left with questions unanswered. The right thing is never supposed to feel harder than the wrong thing. Taking Maxwell's song for gospel truth was so much easier than submitting. I just want to take the easy way out this time. I can't believe I couldn't weasel my way out of this one. So here I am back to total submission. Wonder if the old me would have submitted? But the word says old things have passed away and become new. T.I. says the old me is dead and gone. The new me is obedient and completely submissive. My soul still feels convicted for not trusting God in the first place. I guess I was leaning to my own understanding. It was so much easier to just let those wings fly. Darn Maxwell!!! | | |
| I had a wonderful weekend in Nashville. Not only did I see outstanding musical performances I also rekindled a wonderful friendship with a great person. This trip taught me valuable lesson. Instead of the Holy Bible I learned this lesson from the gospel according to Maxwell. I believe God will give us the desires of our hearts but I also understand that those desires should be in line with the one we desire. So instead of battling a losing cause I am going to simply let those pretty little wings fly away. If it is truly the promise of God it will happen. I don't want to block other blessings in the process. It is unfortunate that she will not be able to truly be with the man I have become. I am a true man of God, loving, hard working, spontaneous, loyal, and passionate. I am one that can be depended on and I have come to know myself in ways I have never known before. I know what is important in life now and I no longer lean to my own understanding. Those qualities can only be obtained by having our steps ordered by God. I am just happy that I could make good on a long promise. It was a long time coming but I finally got her there. It was so overwhelming to see that glow on her face. I laughed the entire time as she screamed, cried, and acted a damn fool over Maxwell. She is also a wonderful travel companion and friend. After the show we innocently held each other until the sun came up the following morning. I enjoyed a ton of laughs, good food, and a host of attractions with her. A pic someone took of us in the hotel lobby reminded me of what we could be and what we were. But in the book Maxwell, album 5: song 3 I learned to let to those wings fly. I hope those wings lead her to the right places. All I can do is be her best friend. Sorry God...I know I should have referred to YOUR word but instead I took a passage from the Gospel According to Maxwell. I hope that doesn't count as my leaning to my own understanding. I would like to just look at it as simply understanding. | | |
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